The Way of the Emo

Jealousy turning saints into the sea
- from the song that's playing in my blog

Stop asking me for titles, stupid Blogger

Why in the _____ do we need titles anyway?
Geez...

Having super lots of thoughts lately
Aside from rhymes popping up in my head
Social, studies, finances... All the works

Well, I did experience moments of "brain-dead" recently
When I went to my friend's apartment and played Half-Life
Seriously, it puts to practice DotA's Kardel Sharpeye's quote:
"Shoot to kill!"
(I became no life because I played Half-Life, lame?)

Studies-wise, I guess I need to put in more effort?
My results for the mock examination wasn't too satisfactory
Eluded by my own words that I can make it by trying a little
Meh, have to buck up

Finance-wise, I'm actually saving for the first time, in my life
And it would seem that I'm becoming more of a cheapskate
Which, is, really, wrong
On the other hand, looking at the money I saved up motivates me
Meh...

Social-wise... As always, questions everywhere
Am I really accepted?
Are these people whom I call "friends" really friends?
Do they treat me as a friend, or a mere acquaintance?
All these stuff pop-up from time to time
Why? My analytical mind is sharp, what can I say?
I see things, I get a hypothesis of what is what
Then, things get gloomy

Another thing is, well, Alex would know what I'm gonna say here
I guess I'm nothing more than a stray?
In front of minor positive phenomenons I get real happy
Then shit happens, and I get dragged down into sadness

One looks like a locked door
The other is opened, but I can see as though there's nothing in there for me
I guess, I really am a stray
I'll always have a place to stay, but not a real home
And no, this does not refer to my family, I'm speaking in a rather abstract way...

Another destress moment

Suspicion arose
Time set and froze
The inner side was really just plain gross

Tried to look inside of me
With all that animosity
Things were not how they were ever meant to be

I thought like this, I thought like that
But things seemed worse, and that's just sad

But man, it's bad, I had, like anger in my heart
My head, my mind just let everything start
To go out of hand, hard not to offend
People whom I cared, it's worse than being dead
Oh yes, I was obsessed with my own good
Now I know I was nothing more than a fool
And yeah, it ain't cool...



I do not know what to think
My mind strays far from what is right
Geez, rhymin' is the only thing keeping me straight right now
Lord please grant me insight
Or break my will instead, it'll work faster...